Why have you come?

 Dream the morning of  09/09/23

It’s fading so…..

Thru most of the short dream (from 5:40am-just before 7am-short dream time) I was walking around the up stairs of this huge house that I knew was my house trying to find something I had no clue what while I was talking with Scotty about something I don’t remember what but it was something to do with some event happening at the house that day, then I found this little kitten or it found me no mewing or anything just came stumbling, as kittens do, up to me I picked it up and went back to the room Scott was in he was still getting ready for what ever was happening and I showed him the kitten and he sighed and I felt him say not another animal but he smiled and we kept talking about what ever we were talking about before. We (Scotty, the Kitten & I) then went down stairs to get the rest of the preparation for the event going and still holding the kitten I told Scott that I was going to have to break away and give the poor thing a bath and maybe ask Jenny (my best friend from high-school) if it’s from her wing/area/room but as I said that I looked over a stair railing which was odd because it already felt like we were on the ground floor, as I looked over I saw at first just like 2 or 3 stumbling kittens and as I said oh look there is more my view then turned in to a massive amount of baby kittens in a V formation RUNNING to get under a sofa, it reminded me of how in the movies they CGI a mass of rats 🐀 running they are in a V formation but that V dodges this way & that not in a straight line. Now all I could think was no that’s to many we have to get them out of the house.  So then we went down there and I found Jenny and as I was trying to figure out how to ask her if the kitten I held was hers and if she just saw that V of them she shouted “oh thank goodness you found her.” And grabbed the kitten out of my hand/arm I was holding it to my chest with one arm because it had started to go to sleep sprawling on my fore arm like it was hugging a pole. It did not like the abrupt awakening and spat and tried to use its claws to hold on to me but couldn’t get them out in time, but then settled as it realized it was Jenny who was holding it.

Then I turned around to see the rest of the area I was in and all of the sudden it was full of people milling about, the event was happening, they all seemed to be people I knew in one way or another so I said my hello’s as I moved around the room no one really stood out as a connection to my real life, no one that I can remember, and then I happened to be near the entry door and the wall was clear and you could see people standing on the stairs talking as well as arriving, well trying to arrive the stairs were full of people just standing and chatting just like the rest of this level of the house as I was looking at the stairs and thinking how do I know this many people because I could hear and see many more in the next room/kitchen and outside in the yards, when I heard excited greeting exchanges from guests on the stairs and a guarded greeting response back so I pushed my way to the stairs to see what was going on and there was Griffin his two assistants leading the way down the cramped staircase they barely acknowledged the people they were waking by effectively pushing people aside with out touching a thing just their energy, the guarded greetings were from Griffin (in real life as I’ve gotten to know him I have often wondered why he chose this path if he doesn’t like the recognition) as they moved closer to me I smiled & nodded a hello to the assistants then as in real life the one assistant Ebb who ALWAYS is dismissive to me eyed me up and down and just turned her body towards Griffin basically saying ‘go away & I don’t want to be here’ all at once. The other one Anne greeted me with open arms and a bubbly hello, just as she does in real life, though in this dream scape I didn’t feel anything in her hug just like the rest of the dream so far no tangible feeling. Then Griffin made it down the last stair, had a very worried expression and reached for me saying ‘oh good I’ve found you…’ as he pulled me in for a long bear hug, like you would hug a family member who you’ve missed dearly, I don’t remember what else he said as we hugged hello because I was shocked at the force behind his hug even though he seemed smaller than usual and fragile, I don’t want to say fragile but I don’t have another word; in other dreams he appears just like he is in real life 6’5” or so and a healthy “normal” weight(or if he’s on project a bit overweight as he says) and usually even in dream scapes has that same feeling he does in real life like a kindred soul, like a close loving brother, but this time he felt smaller not so much in height but girth. As we moved away from the stairs he put an arm around my shoulders as we walked I apologized for how messy & full the house was but it was like I didn’t say anything, he started talking about what ever his problem was, I don’t remember what he said as I was mentally also trying to figure out why he was here in the dream and why he said he had been looking for me but that hug felt like there was something else, and how messy my house was on top of being full of so many people.

Then it was like I blinked and I was suddenly walking along this road in a small small town toward bench that faced a mall like area I sat down because I wanted a moment to think about what the heck happened I had just been at my house & event now I’m here???? I also somehow had in my arms the kitten from before with me and then a cat that I figured was way to young to be a mama came up to me and I felt, well what I should say is she “told”(with thought) me that was her kitten, so I told her she is welcome to come with me and have a home….but just as I was reaching down to pet mama kitty there was a commotion in the parking lot across the street in front of me I looked up to see this vehicle come racing towards where a lady was standing, it was like I was watching a movie, I winced, closed my eyes and turned my head so I would not see her be hit and then there I was staring next to all of it and this guy grabbing my shoulders and shaking me he didn’t speak English but motioned that he had called 911 and needed me to talk to the 911-woman on the phone I nodded and took his phone, but then I was walking thru part of a hospital/PT front desk area/place trying to find the door out, To try to help. I was so frustrated because every door I walked thru kept putting me back at the front desk of the PT area and I couldn’t help anyone let alone myself to get out of the building.

Then I got woke up by what I’m not sure, but I was humming a new to me song Come To The Water and had a line from an audiobook I’ve been reading at work ringing in my ears “merciful Tehlu” (Tehlu is like saying God is to us) ….and as I turned my head to my husband Scotty, who was awake also but he was occupied by Koa (our cat) who was busy making kitty bread because Scott had in Kia’s favorite thing Scotty’s robe, as I turned my head to face them and say good morning I could smell fresh apples in only that one part of where my head lay, I even turned my head back to how I was laying to see if the smell was from outside or somewhere else in the room and it wasn’t.  So I asked Scotty because it was near him so I thought maybe when he went downstairs to let Abby & Siri (our dogs) out maybe he decided to have an apple, and he said he didn’t smell apples and that no he had not eaten any apples, that he didn’t smell anything out of the ordinary at all he said. Side note: I can tell you my morning breath didn’t smell like apples, not terribly bad mind you but still NOT fresh apples. I bet you’re thinking softner scent on the robe but no, sorry laundry scent wise I keep it either unscented or something like the “fresh rain” scent because where I work we have to be scent free…no perfumes, no essential oils, no heavy fabric softener scents tc. I shrugged and said humm that’s odd as I turned my head back to center because even tho I was enjoying the smell my neck is sore, he said well it could be worse things and I said yes and told him about how lately it’s a super powdery heavy perfume vail that comes & goes sometimes here at the house but usually at my desk at work and in the car. He didn’t reply because over the years he has gotten used to what I am sure he & others feel is the oddness of me.

Dream talk

 Okay so my question today is two fold…

1) Do you have a person who shows up in your dreams recurrently?

2) if you do has that person your dreams ever been MIA for extended periods of time only to pop back in out of the blue?

Ever wonder what all that is about?  I do.

So for me as I’ve said before, it is not often that I remember my dreams but when I do I try to figure out if there is some meaning or connection to the waking/real life. I have yet to figure out just who this person in my dreams represents, it is difficult because all these years I have been assuming this person is just who they are to me in waking/real life. The roll in my dreams this person has been in, that I remember, though have been odd and since I don’t know if anyone reads these post or ever will read these posts and I have spoken about him before (Dale/Griffin) I’m going to continue to use the pseudonym of Griffin. In my past there have been times where what dreams I remember Griffin has been the one normally in the lead roll of the dream be it as a family member, a friend or more than a friend but the dreams usually feel different not fully different like my premonition ones but not fully different to the “just a dream” ones either more like a 1/2 & 1/2 which leaves me trying to interpret the dream like I do the premonition ones.

Like the one yesterday, which I will be putting on a different post as this one is already long, in this one Griffin seemed frantic and said he had been looking for me and was so happy he FINALLY found me….

Now this left me wondering okay so in real life I’ve not thought of Griffin in about 3 months I’ve seen his FB posts but other than the half a second it takes to hit like or scroll that’s about it not like before when I was actively trying to make the friendship happen. Mostly because of other personal work I’m doing and realizing that MY time is just as valuable and reflecting on things in real life that he has said and done leaving me to wonder why I am trying to MAKE the friendship happen. With Griffin in real life I am trying to leave it as if you reach out to me then I welcome it but I’m done trying to make connections happen.

So that’s a long way of getting to …. makes me wonder if the sudden reappearance in dreams means maybe in real life Griffin actually does miss my texts/calls etc.? Well universe then in real life HE is going to have to step up and reach out to me.

Dreams … as promised

 As I’ve said before I don’t usually remember my dreams but I’ve decided recently that I will put the ones I do remember on here, so……

What I remember is:

I was in this family not mine but a blended family, maybe a home there were lots of different aged kids and I didn’t see a mom just a dad.  I think I was maybe late teens, but felt like I do now, an adult.  We were at the family dinner (I remember chicken like fried chicken but don’t remember any other details) at home at the dinner table, we were asked to share 3 things and to be honest.

They started with me and though I asked to have someone else go first I was told no it was my night to go first. What are you thankful for, What are you overcoming, I don’t remember the 3rd thing in the dream I didn’t really get to it.  I said I was thankful for the people who try to pull me out of my slump or sadness.  I started to tear up and said I forgot what the other 2 where and I was gently reminded and started to say what I am struggling with is feeling like I don’t count, I don’t matter, that I just shouldn’t BE. At that the dad got up was repeating what I said and finished with a few other feelings I was feeling that I had not yet said & said that is a classic case of <I don’t remember the term he used> I got frustrated and said “ I thought we were supposed to be honest and could let our guard down why are you analyzing me” we had some more back and forth heated/frustrated/angry words I don’t remember all of it but then I was sitting on a couch/loveseat and one of my housemates was sitting next to me just holding space not trying to sooth me or help just letting me BE, when all of the sudden this little person in a business suit walks in he was maybe 3’ tall very handsome making direct eye contact with me, from the entrance of the room to where I was sitting. As he walked up to me, it felt like I knew him but I couldn’t place how or from where or think of his name, but I could see how excited and pleased he was to see me and that made me happy.  As he introduced himself (sadly I don’t remember his name) he said that he remembered me from when I was younger and he was so happy for the opportunity to see me again that he rushed right over, about that time my housemate had gotten several looks from him to get off the sofa because he was gonna sit next to me, with a look I told her it was okay too, there was so much love, joy & happiness flowing off him I felt very safe like seeing a close friend you’ve not seen in years, so she finally left. About then the dad came around the corner from the room he was in behind me and said she has <term> at the same time the little man said it I looked at the both of them realizing he was not what I thought he tried to hush the dad up and keep eye contact with me asking me what we had for dinner because it smelled so good and as I blinked to try to get my brain to work he somehow turned into a long haired dachshund and was still talking to me about how yummy I smelled, I giggled a little as he tried licking my cheek & breath but then quickly snapped “wait is this what you do, this is not fair I thought you knew me and liked me” as I was getting up of the couch and I said to the dad who at this point was Wayne my step dad, I said how I felt it was wrong to do what they (Wayne & the little man) had done and now the little man had changed back to his human form and was saying how he was sorry, how much he was truly happy to see me and that is why he changed to a doxie, and how he just wanted to help they both did. I said the form change didn’t bother me but that I had felt betrayed and I started walking out of the room and calling someone on my phone. As I went outside I could hear them talking about the term but quickly they were out of earshot.  As I was waiting for the person on my phone to pick up I had flashes of how my mom died we all did the things you do have a funeral etc but now she is not dead and everybody is okay with her just coming back, I was having trouble with it though I wanted her back but I didn’t like lying to other people about it. Finally the person I called answered and the road I was walking turned form an easy road to now a cramped with people & things and snow filled road I had to struggle to talk and walk.  I told her what happened as I did someone in a house I walked by was in their old (70’s-80’s) truck revving the engine and my phone changed to silly-putty, she said she could hear anything but the truck. I got past the truck and kept walking and talking I was telling her about what had happened and saying how I didn’t want to be analyzed by a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a psychoanalyst or anything.

Then somehow it seemed after some time I ended up in a car and driving myself back to the house I was in and out of nowhere I saw a person walking towards me but in the middle of the road, I slowed down to a crawl thinking they would move but they didn’t as I got closer I could see it was a man dressed as a woman with heels and everything, as I passed they looked at me like I was in the wrong and an attitude of “what are you gonna do punk?”

I just smiled and kept going the opposite direction to the house.

That’s when I was woken up by Scotty, time to get back on the road.

It only takes a few moments but it can mean so much!

It’s a little thing doesn’t even take a full minute, but some days it is a HUGE thing 😍 

This morning when I went in to pick up my order I was met with the usual greeting “hi thanks for coming in today” or “hi how can I help you” they give everyone but it quickly changed to something that brightened my morning and instead of just one crew members voice soon it was everyone behind the counter joining in…..

“Hello, thanks for coming in today   OH HI NAPUA.” (Then like popcorn the others chimed in)

“Good morning Napua” “HI NAPUA” “oh it’s NaPua HI” “NaPua great to see you”

I was present in the moment and let the chorus of joy & love wash over me and it felt GREAT! I said hello & good morning back, picked up my waiting coffee then I said “thank you all. have a great day.” Then everyone replied in popcorn fashion… “bye NaPua have a good day” “bye NaPua happy to see you today” “bye NaPua” as I headed out the door.

I wish I could tell the crew or some how show the crew how wonderful it feels to hear in their voices the joy and love they give. 

💚☕️My crew it was much needed today MANY THANKS💚honestly if I could hug each of you I would!!

Dreams….do you remember yours, think about them, analyze them, ignore them????

Dreams….do you remember yours, think about them, analyze them, ignore them????

Now I know that not ALL dreams MEAN something, but as a person who rarely remembers her dreams the ones that I do remember I tend to pick them apart, try to find meanings. 

Also with the work I’ve been doing with a brilliant wonderful person who actually listens to me ( I selfishly kinda don’t want to say who she is because she is so booked & I still want to be able to have my appointments with her, she is Ashra with Harmony's Heart LLC ( link here: https://www.harmonysheartcoaching.com )

The work Ashra & I have been doing I actually had a profound dream that I remembered and we got to pick it apart, quite insightfully. Yea ME growth😎🥳.

Anyway what put me on this post/blog path is how I found it funny the other day that I so quickly dismissed a recent remembered dream but then started actually thinking about it and tried to pick it apart.  Also how I wish other than the notes app, I had another way to “write down” my remembered dreams, and no actual writing is not really an option for me I’m to impatient and my handwriting sucks😜. Also I don’t want to have to pay for them to be stored somewhere (app wise).

The other day when I woke up I remembered the dream I was in and I thought meh 😒 doesn’t mean anything it was odd both in the people in it and what it was, but I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything, yet as I went about getting ready for the day I kept revisiting the dream and remarking to myself how odd it was & how I’ve not dreamed of that friend, we will call him Griffin, in a while, and how yet again in a dream that friend wanted my help in yet another odd way and in the dream I kept saying how I didn’t see how I could help but finally I gave in and went along with what he was wanting me to do. 

Just odd how some dreams I pick apart and others I just dismiss because they seem so off the mark. 

Maybe I should go back to my blogging the dreams & thoughts in general.

Maybe I’ll put up the dream I am speaking of with Griffin, tho I didn’t retain as much detail as I did of the dream Ashra & I got to analyze.

Flashes of a breakthrough

 Okay this is only in flashes not linear per say…Also I am not a hunter nor do I like the idea of hunting.  For separation when I am speaking of real life I will italicize & underline that part.  

All of the below took place from 5:53am-6:03am I know this from my fit bit because I had just gotten up to pee and went back to sleep.

It is dark like night time, I am looking around me and I am in a group of people in a rather large circle, but in the edge of the group, no one in this group looked like anyone I know in real life and from what I remember I wasn’t particularly connected to anyone in the group like by friends or mates. I know that I am a man, the group is talking about the animal we are hunting tho when they say the name of it it’s like my hearing stops and I don’t hear the name. I know in my brain the animal but I don’t remember the name I know it’s in the hoofed family like an Elk or Deer but not as big as a moose, if you could combine all 3 that would be close. The area around us is deep snow but when we start our trek for the animal we walk in the snow with no effort, we are in a high elevation but not on the side of a mountain but there are patches of big tall pine and other evergreen trees around us, as well as clearings with no trees or brush visible, and I notice that the group didn’t stay together everyone went the way they thought was best to get the game we are after, I do not like to hunt but I help the group because it is needed. I and another man are walking together there is an understanding that while we are both skilled hunters I am to take the lead as far as where we walk etc. He and I don’t really talk like the others are because we know that just by walking we make to much noise, the rest of the group tho we can’t see them we can hear them & feel them. I noticed that there are all these paths in the snow like you would see in a cross country skiing place about the width of  3 or 4 people and groomed it resembles a big city side walk or a one car lane road . I stop to survey the area we are in and I said to the man with me said but with out talking or gesturing that we needed to get off these paths our game doesn’t follow them and neither should we, also we needed to get away from the rest of the group they are to noisy and their energy is intrusive. He agreed and we set off to a patch of trees we saw with no paths leading to or from them.  Then as we are walking we round this corner we’re we couldn’t see around it and I almost step on the hind part of what looks to me to be a yearling moose that has been killed. I reach up to turn on my head lamp like the ones we have a head band with a small flashlight but when I do instead of the light I am expecting mine is so dim it is like it is not even on. I ask the man with me to turn his on he dose and starts saying in a whisper to him it looks like a goat (to explain these “goats” are big like a Ram and all white like a Ram but their heads and body shape are like our domestic goats but with kind spindly legs like an Elk or a Moose). As we are looking over the body it appears to me that it is a trophy kill (we have a different term but like the name of the animal that escapes me now) because the animal still has everything except from mid neck up to the nose all of that fur and skin have been peeled off and all you can see is the muscles & tendon’s that are under the skin and what ever antlers and the eyes are also gone. There is no blood anywhere, I have no idea how they killed this animal I see no gun shot wounds, or knife wounds. I can also see why he says it looks like a goat to him because it is all white fur like the snow. As we stand there I am aware to look behind us and around a snow mound I see what looks like a female “goat”with 2 little ones behind her I can feel her fear I “tell” her we are not here for her or her young and we would never do what was done here we only take what is needed and that I was sorry if this was her mate. That calms her a little but she can also sense the group we are with so she remains where she is and is on alert but doesn’t run. The man I am with and I decide it is best to keep moving to get away from the group, we don’t take the meat because the kill was to long ago and the meat would not be good for us to eat or share.  The we have set up our tents and built a fire we are in a clearing like a meadow, about 20’ next to the camp is a lazily running small river but by looking at its banks you can see that in the spring it runs high and fast and about 20 yards from us is the face of a flat topped mountain. I am in the tent and I am some how ME Eve, and I am thinking how I find it strange that we are in snow but are not cold or tired from walking and the mountain face I am looking at has now snow just dirt and no trees. I hear Scotty and another man’s voice, I don’t recognize but am aware we are in a group together so I am not afraid, outside the tent and the campfire popping and cracking.  They are talking in whispers and I know we are to be quiet so I stay where I am looking at the mountain side and listen to them talk, they are talking about <name of the game we are hunting> and the other man says he is wondering if we are maybe in some kind of simulation, Scotty softly chuckles, I start to notice that the part of the mountain I have been looking at starts to move like vein with a heart beat, like how veins do on the back of peoples hands who are elderly & really skinny I watch and think how odd that is because there is no sound other than the campfire, the man & Scotty.  I say to Scotty “do you see that?” Scotty reply’s “yep” and as he says that the movement/ heart beat grows faster in the mountain vein and just then the vein part explodes out toward us with a huge rush of water and reveals an extremely fast moving white water “new” mountain side stream/river not like a waterfall but a stream/river but that eruption has also now reached our little river near the camp and it is running so high and fast I notice that the rocks that I used to see in the river are now creating a mound of fast moving water in almost a reverse wave, I am apprehensive and I look to Scotty and “ I say should we leave, that water is rising fast.” Scotty calmly replied “nope it’s fine, we are fine.” and he and the other man continue whisper talking. I turn back to the water with a calm knowing that I am fine and think how odd there is no sound of all this rushing water.  Then I am the same male I was before the campfire & river event and the other male, same from the beginning, but different from the campfire river event, we are walking again in search of <animal name> we come up to a part of the group that like us split from the bulk of us for some quiet and relief, they speak to me like the male I have been with, with out words or gestures I would say telepathic but it’s more than that the only I can think of is a combination of KNOWING & telepathic, less of a “thought” of telepathic more of just knowing/feeling, they say they have seen <animal name> and that they were following it and that we should combine for a better advantage, I agree. As we are speaking I feel I need to look behind me but up on the rock/hill side.  When I do I see a HUGE wolf/elk-ish animal it is not hunting us but it notices us and leaps down to the ground we are on it lands about 10 yards from us as it lands I see it is not whole, it is “injured” on part of its face, it is gone not like blown away or ripped away more like the program didn’t finish loading to build up the rest of it, a frame work is there but easy to see, and I feel that I need to help it but I “say” I don’t want to kill you, it “says” should I attack would that be easier for you? I “say” no I raise my arm toward the wolf/elk, my arm has a shotgun all of the sudden I say “sorry” and I try to pull the trigger I have the same hesitation and the same apprehensiveness sometimes when I am checking my blood sugar I know the pain of the poke lasts for only a second or so it some mornings it takes me forever to push the button to get the poke. I sigh relax my shoulders and “say” I please forgive me I am sorry; and then I turn my head away from the wolf/elk I pull the trigger and turn back to see the bullet travel and I notice that the animal is also watching the bullet come to him and just before it touches his fur he looks at me and I feel/hear relief/thank you I’ve been waiting so long, and then as the bullet enters the fur at the front of its chest the animal turns into/explodes into leaves & glistening bits of light like glitter in the air.  

Then I woke up and was laying there thinking okay so 90% of the time I don’t remember my dreams, but that was odd. As I laid there I looked at the clock to see if it was worth getting up or if I should just wait because we are getting up early to go grocery shopping I looked at the clock 6:03am,ugh, and I hear a rooster crow it’s not our neighbors rooster but sounds like the one I have nicknamed Old Man, this past week I have been trying to decide if a “wild” or a dropped off rooster has taken up roost in our trees because he heard Little Man (the name I gave our neighbors roster).  I would say a dropped off rooster but his crow sounds like he is an old old bird so I hate to think who ever owned him dropped him off, but any way he made our neighbors rooster crow I smile thinking ‘hey hey Little Man you are sounding like an actual rooster instead of the squeaky voice breaking crows you had in the summer congratulations good morning Little Man, good morning Old Man.’

Then I hear my wolves okay not MINE but they are in the woods next to our home so I call them mine and I have missed hearing them for about a year or so and my heart jumps and I am so happy and my smile grows, as they howl sounds like 4 or 5 of them.  Then I hear the old rooster again as if to say ‘hey did you hear that young feller?’ and our neighbors rooster crows back and then all of outside goes back to the quiet calm of the morning and inside Koa realizes I’m awake and starts the Kitty Bongos…..about 1/2 hr later Scotty’s alarm goes off. Hello Sunday.

You ever have a dream that you wake up from and your heart wants more?

Hi....it’s me....I know it’s been forever but here we go again.....Eve’s crazy dream talk.....hhaaahaaahaaa

Normally I don’t remember my dreams as I’ve said before, but sometimes when I do and they are good ones then I often wish I could go back into the dream like others say they can, but alas for me when I am awoken from a dream then it is done......so let’s begin shall we?????

This dream I can’t even give any lead up to it because the first thing I remember is....

For some reason I am on a beach in Italy it is near a resort type area and I’m discussing with a local Forman what I am building and a part of that for some reason is a place to house dogs, the local I am working with speaks English and is showing me a pit in the sand with a dog at the bottom of the pit with a bowl for food and water seeps in from the surf just a little, he is trying to explain this is what he thought I was looking for and that the small amount of water from the surf will be the water the dogs drink, this makes me very sad and I tell him no we are not trying to kill the dogs and I requested he get the dog out immediately before the tide comes in and it drowns. He looks up at the workers snaps his fingers points to them and the puppy/dog and starts hollering at them in Italian I do not speak Italian so I leave him to the crew. I walk out into the surf to try to clear my head and try to ground/calm myself. I stand in about mid-shin deep beautiful clear teal blue water watching the horizon and am thinking of a person that I have had a crush on for over 15 years in real life and apparently in this dream, and then tell myself to just forget him because I am here with ____ (as I type this I can not remember his name so I will call him Chip and no in real life I do not know this person at present) and even tho he is WAY older than me (and older than my crush), my crush (we will call him Dale as some of Dale’s real life plays into this) is married, and I should just be happy my crush Dale and I are friends PERIOD I have an amazing life and I should just be happy and stop wishing for something that’s never gonna happen. Besides the grass may seem greener on the other side but that is usually not the case once you get on the other side of the door and the vail of mystery is lifted. Everyone has faults and while the rose colored glasses I view Dale in real life with may hide some things, there are some flaws that I see clearly and would not be able to handle them that much I do know.

{Looking back on the dream I don’t think my older OLDER gentleman and I are a lovey-doves married couple it felt more like a friendship that turned into an arrangement of marriage that worked best for both of us.}

As this conversation goes on in my head and as I flip flop between this dream life and my REAL LIFE feelings and thoughts, I try to focus on the waves the sun and the air it all feels so beautiful, so relaxing, so.....perfect, and yet I feel like someone is watching me. I think to myself ‘oh don’t be a fool you are nothing special’ and I try to brush it off, but it doesn’t go away so I resolve myself to just turn around and scan the resort beach as I walk back to the building. Yet when I turn around it took absolutely no time to see WHY I felt I was being watched, tho the beach is busy there are 2 things that stand out crystal clear to me and everything else is a blur.  There on the beach kind of close to the waters edge is my older gentleman Chip I can see on his face he is happily admiring me like he does often, it makes me blush and flutter a bit. He is a tall just over 6’ handsome man, he is wearing perfect tailored white silk pants with a deep cobalt blue silk shirt that is not quite buttoned all the way as it flutters in the breeze it is showing a bit of his beautiful chest, he his a very strikingly handsome man, but my gaze zooms right past Chip and lands on Dale it makes me gasp, for there he his standing just behind Chip up on the embankment, he is wearing what seems like the same beautiful white silk perfectly tailored pants but no shirt, and he has a look on his face just like Chip only Dale’s look is a bit more lustful, I swoon and almost fall, thankfully to the on looker it just looks like I tripped a little, both Chip’s & Dale’s looks change to one of worry until they see I am fine then a kind of smerk-smile comes over them. I rase my hand over my head and wave to them, tho I am sure Chip doesn’t know Dale is just behind him. Honestly it’s odd the line they are in, like I am the sun and they are 2 planets who have just lined up / . I expected Chip to wave back as he does but in real life Dale doesn’t often show any emotion to me other than the friendly but awkward hug, even when we are in a group setting he is usually ... and I am quoting others how say this to me often, “he acts like a cold friend more like an acquaintance, or that he doesn’t even want you here”  yet in my dreams it is hard to explain....in here the soul energy feeling I get is just like it is in real life, like he is REALLY next to me but in here in my dreams there are no restrictions and he often shows what I believe to be his true feelings, but Dale did wave & smile, again I swoon and my heart feels like it will burst, only this time I don’t trip as I head back to the building I just try to walk as though I am not walking on air and I notice puppy is running up to me so I reach down to welcome him......

Then the next part of the dream I remember is....

Night has come actually more like midnight/early am, the time when most people are sleeping, I am walking alone on the beach at the resort, taking stick of the days events and again trying to clear my head. Alone except for the sweet puppy from earlier, we walk along and I tell him about my project plans I apologize the silly man put him in the beach pit, really I am just trying to get Dale out of my head and I am thankful that there are no people around. Puppy and I come upon a part of the resort it looks like a grand ball room that is in the process of being set up for a piano performance and a tune pops in my head, not one I have heard before or even know now as I write this, I could not even humm any of it now, the seats are mostly off to the side of the room with a kind of maze trail thru them while the center is mostly empty.  I look down at puppy who sweetly is sitting next to me looking up at me waging his tale and I say ‘ well no one is here I am sure no one would mind... would you care to dance sir?’  and we walk in to the room and I begin to humm/sing to the tune in my head and eventually break into a kind of twirling skipping carefree dance with puppy. I am having a blast being lost in the tune and puppy’s dance as we skip & twirl and weave in and out of the chairs and down the main part of the ball room, when I hear the most beautiful laughter it sounds like angels its beauty makes my heart leap and stops me in my tracks, I look up and it is Andrea Bocelli he has a few people around him one has just explained to him what I was doing. I am not sure how long we were dancing nor how long they were watching us.  Andrea with a huge smile on his face he says something to me in Italian and because I don’t understand him I just stand there like a fool motionless, his smile diminished a bit as he waits and he catches on and says “English signora?” I nod and eek out a mousy reply “yes sir”  and he laughs and as he walks toward me he says to not call him sir and he hoped that he could join puppy and I in our dance because from what he heard from my humming and giggles it sounds fun. I know he is blind but I curtsy and say I would be honored he holds out his hand and I take it he begins to hum/sing as I was the tune in my head, I join in and off we go. We skip, spin & twirl thru the rest of the open space of the ball room and with out a word I lead him as we skip thru the chair maze with just using my hand as to which direction he is to follow a small angle to the left we go left etc, we return back to the center of the ball room I hug him tight and whisper in his ear “thank you so very much” and kiss him on the check then I pull away and curtsy again and say for the rest of the room to hear “ thank you sir it has been an honor and a blessing.” They all applaud and I blush as he says he hopes I make it to his playing tonight and asked if I would stay as they rehearse. I tell him that I am so very thankful for his kind invitation to stay but I have to get back to my room, and that I will be sure to catch his performance that evening. I look down at puppy and turn to head for the door, as puppy and I head into the hallway to get to my room I see Dale again, my heart flutters and I gasp again and just as he looks at me smiling he starts to walk towards me I feel my self  wanting to run to him..... I wake up.

These few scenes have stuck with me for DAYS now and just before posting this, Dale texted me in real life saying he had a secret to share, and as he shared it with me while I am elated for this new project for him & his wife, it is tempered my my still writhing feelings of my recent dream, but alas all my Pisces life I seem to be on fin in the real world and one fin in the dream realm.

Who knows maybe the dream was because in real life Dale was thinking of me and wanting to share this new adventure he is about to embark on????