To start I have to explain my cat Bill and I had such a close soul relationship connection that when he transitioned/passed away I thought I would never in this life get another cat. It took me a solid month before I could function without crying every 5 minutes. Then, and even still, it didn’t help that I had to make the choice to send Bill on his way, it was due to health issues and I know it was for the best but it’s a decision I still struggle with.
Household wise after Bill transitioned we still had another cat Mae but she and I didn’t have a close connection. Our sweet Mae had a lot of trust issues from her previous household, and we also had our dog D’Argo so poor D’Argo he got a very sad clingy mama for about 5 years, and then Koa came along.
After about 5 years of Bill’s transition I had finally gotten to a point where I could walk past and even talk to kitties at the pet store who were there visiting from local shelters, but afterwards I would usually have to sit in my car to regather myself and wipe tears away. I was entertaining the idea of a new cat, I wasn’t sure my heart could take a kitten, but our Sweet Mae was still with us so whom ever joined us next had the be cleared with Mae. I admit I was looking for another orange long hair kitty because of Bill, but also was thinking maybe a tortie I love their colors. I knew from my experience with Bill & Mae I did want to adopt rather than buy from a breeder, however there were breeds I was also thinking of like a full blood Maine Coon, Bill I believe was part MC, I was also thinking of Serval but with Mae I figured they were off the list.
I also knew there was no way I was emotionally okay enough to go to the local shelters and pick a kitty, but I felt I was taking baby steps to being a mama to another cat.
So months go by and the visits to the pet store visiting shelter kitties started getting easier but no one felt “just right” so I had resolved to just being a one kitty home until Mae transitioned, maybe it would be best for her last years to be a solo kitty less stress that way, she was after all warming up some and coming out of her shell.
Then one day on our usual shopping trip my husband & I walked into our local pet store and they were sponsors a neighboring city’s shelter and had a group of kittens up by the front door, now of course when I heard the baby meows before I even saw kittens and the ruckus they were creating, I mentally prepared myself. We walked in I glanced and saw a group of kiddos asking to hold & holding and begging their parents for a kitten. I smiled and watched for a bit the kittens were all mostly black with small white spots on toes, noses, etc; but as I stood there I saw this one kitten who kept getting passed over to be picked up and loved on or even played with in the cage, I could tell it was the same kitten because it was the only one with a white spot on their chest so it looked like an all black kitty. It made me sad and my mental & heart preparing was wearing thin so I told my husband we needed to just go get the dog food and get on with our day. He asked if I was okay and teary eyed I said yes, just missed Bill and I was sad for that one kitten that everyone ignored and pushed away. I mentally sent that little kitten extra love and went on about our shopping.
We got the dog food and when we got in line for check out I could see the kittens and saw that poor little ignored kitten still getting pushed away and I felt their little spirt breaking, I could see and feel it’s sadness, the thought/feeling that kept shouting my head was ‘how come no one loves me why aren’t i good enough to be picked up’ it made my heart hurt.
I looked at my husband and said “I don’t want to get one but that little one needs a spirit lift so I’m gonna go see if I can hold it while you pay for the dog food, so it can feel loved and perk back up and get adopted by some one, then we will go.” He said okay, over the years he’s gotten used to my way of feeling energy so to say that didn’t surprise him it was as normal as saying “I’m going to have a cup of tea”.
So I walked up to the lady with the shelter and since they weren’t mobbed people anymore everything felt calmer and I asked if I could just hold one, she sighed I am sure tired of handing the kittens only to have them not be adopted. She reached for one that was meowing and jumping at me and I touched her elbow and said “umm could I see the one in the corner please.” When I said that she just looked at me like I was speaking a language she didn’t understand. She shrugged and said sure. So she picked up the little sad kitten, who spat at being jostled around, and plopped him into my waiting hands as she told me it was one of the few boys of the group. I went to put him in my arms to cuddle him but as I did he just curled up on my chest, and started purring so loud people walking by were saying how loud it was. The woman from the shelter was shocked she said he has never done that not even with her and the other foster ladies. She said he is a friendly enough kitten, it’s just after having fostering mama and this litter they had started to notice personalities emerging and he is definitely not a cuddle-er. I told her that I had seen him get pushed aside before when there were people picking up the kittens. I told her I just wanted to hold him and give him some extra love to help put the spark back in his little kitten eyes so he’d be sure to be adopted, and told her the story of our Mae at home. She shared with me where he and his litter mates were from and stories of herself and the other foster ladies had of all the kittens, oddly not any of the fella I was holding. I nodded and laughed appropriately FULLY intending to put kitten back when my husband was done at the checkout. Slowly realizing that I was not only giving the little kitten a spirit boost but the adoption lady too, something most people don’t think of when in a setting like that is while the animals are the center of attention there are also kahu/stewards/caretakers of these animals and sometimes just the smallest of recognition to them can help volumes. When ever I see an adoption set up if they aren’t mobbed by people I stop and talk with the human just so that on some level they feel seen too.
I wasn’t paying attention to where my husband was in line etc as I was holding the little kitten I was also helping the lady from the shelter to get some of the litter mates adopted, handing out forms and sharing what little info I had just learned about the litter and the shelter. All of the sudden my husband walked up his hand’s empty as he had put the food in the car and came back in to the store for me. I looked at my husband he met my eyes looked at my chest still the kittens bed, and then met my eye’s again and he said “so I guess we’ve adopted a kitten?” I said “oh no no no I am done holding him, I was just helping her out.” and as I went to put the kitten down the kitten grabbed at my neck and tried to climb up on my shoulder. My husband grabbed him and said “nope I think we’ve just adopted this guy.” I just blinked and stood there my mind racing “Bill is this okay?!?! Am I okay with this?? Mae will she be okay with a kitten that could remind her of her abuse from her kittens at the home she had before us, as she and her kittens were all black. D’Argo will he be okay going back to a 2cat house?!?!???? Wait we don’t have a way to get him home no carrier also we don’t have ANY kitten stuff…oh yeah right we are at the store.” My husband seeing me semi frozen asked the lady what are the steps to adopt this kitten today and began filling out the paperwork and paid the fee. We then went shopping with and for our new addition.
Naming Koa was a bit tuff tho, at first I wanted to call him Toothless because he reminded me of the dragon from the movie How To Train Your Dragon….but then I thought shadow because literally where ever I went in the house there he was but then I thought oh please he is basically all black and your gonna call him shadow how boringly typical….then I thought maybe Velcro but immediately shook that one out of my head, then I started thinking I wanted an Hawaiian name for him because I had gotten Bill when we lived on Oahu and often wished we had named him something Kamaʻāina, but Bill’s name story is for another time. So I tried all different names that I could think up, but what I kept hearing/feeling is “strong like the Koa tree” so I tried some warrior names. Then I looked at him and I said “wait…just Koa?” he turned his head to me and did a slow blink as if to say FINALLY geesh.
And so this is my side of the story of Koa’s journey to us and his name. For Koa’s side of the story…..you’ll have to ask him.
As a side note: The word “koa” means “warrior” in Hawaiian. The warriors of The Great King Kamehameha used wood from a plentiful tree on Hawaii ‘the Big Island‘ to create their canoes & weapons. This wood became synonymous with the warriors themselves, and became known as koa.
As the years have progressed I can say he has evolved into not only a soul connection like Bill but also like Bill was Koa has become a protector of me also I feel so blessed he is in our family.
